Dads Who Change Diapers

Shane loves to change Liam’s diapers.  HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES IT.  He loves changing diapers more than he loves baseball, video games, and banana pudding COMBINED.  Okay, this might have been a slight exaggeration, but I feel lucky because our diaper tally is split quite evenly and Shane never complains.  He does it because he’s doing his best little stinky buddy a favor.

But coming home from our Alaskan trip, we noticed that there was no baby changing station in the airport men’s restroom, and sadly, we were not surprised.  This made me wonder about all of the single dads or dads traveling without mom.  What did they do? Did they bravely enter the “Family Restroom,” even though passing women would shoot them awkward and uncomfortable glances?  Did babies magically hold their pee and poop until a private area was available or a kind woman, though foreign, could change them?

Then I came across several articles that urged gender equality, insisting that men should have changing stations too.  I was pleased to see Ashton Kutcher standing as a proud proponent and advocate for the cause in several articles, such as this one.  Indeed, this issue opened my eyes to parent role stereotypes that continue to exist (such as the one mentioned in my post about stay-at-home dads).  Are fathers staying silent about the issue to avoid changing diapers, hoping to use the lack of services as an excuse? Which mothers have noticed such a void in the public restrooms? Is this really a social issue, or just a matter of what is most cost effective and a lower demand?  I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section! Feel free to unleash your inner human rights activist!

P.S.  Great surprise ahead with this post! Stay tuned!

3 Places that Need a Kids’ Station or Nursery

Until I became a mother, I never appreciated the Kids Club at the gym or the nursery at the church.  Now, I am brimming with gratitude for the kind souls who are willing to take my son for an hour while I squeeze in half a crunch or say a few prayers that my husband will put his socks in the hamper.  Then I realized that there are a few other places I would love to see a “kids drop off” station or nursery.  I would still be able to take my son everywhere and not have to arrange for a babysitter.  Three places came to mind:

1. THE GROCERY STORE.  I have seen a kids’ coloring station at Trader Joe’s, but all grocery stores should have a place where you can leave your kids for twenty minutes so that half of your shopping cart isn’t filled with sugary cereals and squeeze pouches.  Maybe the bag boys can take turns manning the station!

2. THE NAIL SALON.  This includes the hair salon and the eyebrow place.  I would love to see a quarantined room, chemical-free!  Find me that salon and I’ll be loyal for years.

3. STARBUCKS.  I recently posted about minimizing starbucks in my life, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy it.  I would love to fit in writing (or simply gaining sanity in the morning) at my local coffee shop with my little one close by, entertained while my creative juices flow.

Silly or not, I find it hard to believe that other Moms haven’t thought about it.   Where else would you like to see a Kids’ Station?  Target?  Home Goods? Nordstrom?  Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Simple Motherhood: Our Favorite Field Trip

My son and I love to take a field trip to our front yard.  It comprises of two patches of grass no larger than two twin beds, but we love to sit, throw a ball, eat a snack, and watch the cars go by.

On days like these, it affirms my belief that I can do free things and still make my son smile.  I am enjoying these days where a wooden spoon and a cupcake tin are all he needs to have fun.  Sure, he has a lot of books (occupational hazard for a mother/librarian).  And in future posts, I will talk about how I discard his toys (what we tossed and what we kept and how we decided).  But Liam reminds me that I can be a minimalist in motherhood too, as long as my heart and attention are focused on the present, on his belly laughs, on his cute samurai manbun.

THRIFT STORE OR NEW? Closet Wardrobe

“Thrift is not an affair of the pocket, but an affair of character.” – S.W. Straus

When I was a kid, it wasn’t cool to shop at a thrift store.  It was embarrassing.  You didn’t want to be the kid with the USED, dirty things. Then, when I became a teenager, shopping at a thrift store meant vintage, chic, exclusive.  I visited consignment stores and loved my one-of-a-kind pieces.  Now, as an adult and mother, thrift stores mean spending money wisely, finding items with character, living an environmentally-conscious life.  

How do I choose what to buy at a thrift store versus what I buy in new condition?  When I need to purchase something, what criteria do I have for an item, sending me to check if it is available at a thrift store first?

I have had many people ask me these questions and I would love to help anyone I can.  Thrift stores are all they are hyped up to be… if you know where to look and if you know what to expect when you get there.  I am writing a series of blog posts that discuss different lifestyle areas, starting with basics of your home, that will guide your train of thought before you find a local shop.  First, let’s start with your CLOTHES!

WHAT WOULD I BUY AT A THRIFT STORE?

1. BLUE JEANS. Jeans can be tricky because you need them to fit just right (If you haven’t already, check out a recent post about denim). But that’s the beauty of thrift stores: lots of people have trouble finding the right jeans, or they feel right in the fitting room, but no longer feel good after walking and jumping around in them, so they donate their perfectly good, gently-used jeans.  I have found everything from 7 for Mankind to Rock & Republic to Gap and Banana Republic… all for a tenth of the retail price.

2. BOOTS. After checking the sturdiness of the heels and cohesiveness of the toes, boots are typically safe because they are worn with socks (check the insides of they’re clean and you’ll see whether or not the previous owner took care of them!).  Boots can be really expensive, especially as the Fall season approaches.  If you find a good pair that is comfortable, hop on it!  By the way, anything genuine leather (boots, purses, wallets, belts)… worth it.

3. DRESSES. Dresses reflect your taste and personality.  Find prints that you like and that fit you well, flattering in places that make you feel confident.  Watch out for fading, arm pit stains, stubborn zippers, and loose buttons, all of which have been deal-breakers for me.

4. BABY APPAREL. Everyone knows how fast babies grow, so if you see something cute, snag it!  They’re usually much less expensive than adult thrift store clothes and SIGNIFICANTLY less expensive than retail baby clothes (more on baby items in a future post… stay tuned).

5. RAIN-PROOF GEAR. Jackets, warm-up pants, etc…. Living in Southern California means that I don’t need to invest in a North Face jacket.  I hardly find stains or anything wrong with these items at a thrift store.  I have reasoned that most people have concluded, like me, that living in Los Angeles means having a ton of cute coats that you never use and should probably just donate.

WHAT WOULD I BUY NEW?

1. SOCKS, UNDERWEAR, BRAS. Yes, we are entitled to say that we deserve the feeling of new undergarments.  This is not about money and frugality, but quality of life. Admit it: putting on a brand new pair of socks and a brand new set of underwear makes you smile. And you need to wear bras that fit.  Most bras at thrift stores are several years old because most women hang on to bras longer than they should.

2. WHITE COTTON SHIRTS. Like socks, underwear, and bra, everyone deserves to feel fresh in a new white shirt.  Especially since most people do not take the time to care for white shirts the way they were intended, they fade and turn yellow.  Treat yourself to new white shirts.

3. SHOES: flats. Depending on your style and taste, many brands compete, so you can find your style inexpensively.  When people usually donate flats to a thrift store, they are already falling apart and have lived a good life.  I typically don’t even browse the shoe section.

4. SHOES: flip flops. Similarly to flats, flip flops can be anywhere from cheap to affordable, available in Targets and strip malls.  If I’m going to expose my feet, I like to show them off with flip flops that are hand-selected to complement them.  Not every flip flop looks good on every foot (my feet look better in slim thongs, not thick thongs).

5. LEGGINGS. I usually wear my leggings to death.  They become faded and end up with holes in them until I have to throw them away.  Leggings are very much like underwear to some people.  They’re an affordable staple and worth the investment.

 WHEN ELSE WOULD I BUY NEW?

– IF I’M IN A RUSH AND NEED TO BE SOMEPLACE SOON, WITH A SPECIFIC OUTFIT IN MIND. If I spilled soy sauce on a white shirt right before a job interview, I have no problem zooming to the nearest Target instead of trying to get lucky at Buffalo Exchange.  That would never make any sense, given the situation.

– IF I HAVE BEEN EYEING AN ITEM FOR A LONG TIME AND HAVE INTENTION WITH MY PURCHASE. If a new item suits my capsule wardrobe and I have clicked a link on the brand’s website a million times, I would definitely buy the dress or boots in new condition.  That is not binge or impulse shopping, but purposeful and thoughtful according to my budget and lifestyle. 

What would you buy at a thrift store? What would you buy new?  Do you agree or disagree with my lists?  I would love your feedback in the comments!!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE POSTS ABOUT THRIFT STORE VS. NEW, SUCH AS KITCHEN, BEDROOM, BABY APPAREL, AND MORE!

Kind and Simple: How to Make This Summer COUNT

But first, here are a few little things that make me grateful on this Friday morning (and kickoff to my summer):

This homemade BEER sign from my brother-in-law’s wedding last year.  A lovely garden addition.

These dainty white flowers that remind me of God’s love.

My baby’s imperfect hand prints (one flat, where the middle finger was too long, so we awkwardly had to bend it… which ended up being cute and hilarious… and his classic pointer finger)

This future Long Beach wanderer, aerospace engineer.

These harmonious plants.

These luscious lemons.

And now, HOW TO MAKE THIS SUMMER COUNT:

1. Do fun, free things.  Sounds simple enough.  Go to the free museum.  Visit the beach.  Pack a cheap lunch and go to the park.  Reorganize your furniture in a way that complements your relaxation ideals.  Surprise yourself with all of the ideas you dream that cost you nothing.

2. Wake up early.  Don’t fall into the trap of sleeping in.  You won’t feel as great as waking up early to get a productive start on your day.  Besides, it’s a lot cooler in the morning, so it will be easier to hit the town or take a nice hike.

3. Think before you complain.  It is really easy to start complaining about the heat.  Don’t state the obvious.  Challenge yourself to come up with a more intellectual way to make conversation instead of just hearing yourself talk or filling empty awkward silence.  Do you ever notice that when you’re waiting in line at the grocery store or another place with strangers, most people find an icebreaker that involves complaining? “Ugh, these lines take forever.” Be the exception.

4. Volunteer. Find a cause or organization where you can devote some time, money, or energy.  It can be as simple as taking a trash bag with you when you go to the beach or picking up some pet food and dropping it off at the local animal shelter.  Little things count.

5. Make time for prayer and/or meditation.  In the fall, we bow our heads on Patriot’s Day.  Soon after, we reflect during Thanksgiving and the Christmas season.  In the spring, we are humbled at Easter.  But during the summer, we sometimes forget to give thanks during our more “idle” season.  Be less busy!  Make time for the quiet.

As you can tell, I work in a profession where I get a summer vacation like a first grader.  I am lucky to spend 7 glorious weeks with my little family, and I am going to make them wonderful and memorable.  Stay tuned for our adventures!  What other ways can you make this summer count?  Leave a comment!!

The Moments of Motherhood I Never Want to Forget

What are the moments of motherhood I want to remember forever?

The smell of my son’s toes.

My son’s expressions during discovery.

The plumpness of a full diaper.

His first glances when he wakes up in the morning, warm and ready.

Milestone birthdays (and birthdays in between).

I wish I could remember it all, clearly, in sequence, whenever I feel.  Keeping a diary will never be enough.  It doesn’t bottle up the baby smell or recapture the feeling of drool on my chin.  But knowing this helps me to focus on the microscopic moments.  I smile at clipping his fingernails, rubbing lotion on his elbows, and cuddling for ten extra minutes, even if it means I am late for work.  I see why women do it over and over again.

Happy Friday!!  Spend lots of frivolous time with those you love.

Minimalism and Motherhood

Single people have lots of stuff. Committed people have lots of stuff. Lots of people have lots of stuff.  As a new mom, I realized that was not the healthiest and happiest choice for my family, especially for me.

Like many women, I love clothes.  When I’m bored, I shop. At one point, I had a bursting closet with items that still had tags on them.  But once I had Liam, keeping up with a mountain of stuff seemed too hard.  As my body kept changing, clothes didn’t fit right or look good anymore, even after I lost all my baby weight.  I felt too old to have so many mini skirts and “Vegas” dresses.  I didn’t understand why I still had heels that I hadn’t worn since I was 17.  Costume jewelry fell out of nooks and crannies DAILY.  I WAS OVERWHELMED.  But most importantly, these things no longer made sense in my life and no longer brought me joy.  In fact, some items had not brought me joy since the fitting room on the day I hesitantly bought them.

This may sound typical, but once I had my son, I didn’t care about my stuff.  I cared more about having a clean space for him to play.  I cared more about keeping his clothes and toys organized.  I cared more about the time I spent hanging out with him than the time spent cleaning.

In fact, as Liam’s first birthday approaches, I have kindly asked loved ones to consider giving us experiences, like gift cards to do fun things.  Unless they feel a strong urge to get him something tangible, we did not prefer more toys and clothes.

In so many ways, motherhood has made me a better person.  I never thought my son would inspire me to be a minimalist, but it makes perfect sense that now that he’s here, he’s all I need to be happy.