Serving God Through Minimalist Fashion

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

-1 Peter 3:3-4

I have always loved shopping.  Especially for clothes.  Then, when I adopted a minimalist lifestyle, I reflected on my choices, which conflicted with my need to be fashionable.

One selling point aligned with my faith.  I realized several things when I updated my wardrobe, all in respect to my relationship with God:

1. I focused less on my appearance.  Instead of feeling insecure as well as vain, I viewed clothes as functional.  I did not want them to define whether or not I was someone who could hold a conversation.

2. I wasted less money. I realized I could survive on fewer materials, which is what God intended for me all along.

3. I wasted less time. I found myself spending more time in prayer and reflection instead of shopping or stressing about what to wear to work the next day.

4. I prayed with a more grateful heart.  Lots of reflection came naturally with my lifestyle change.  I started praying more, either for strength in this endeavor or in gratitude for a clear mind and an open heart.

5. I donated to those in need. I realized that I had many usable items that another person could use, so I happily gave them away.

6. I cursed less. There was less crap all over the floor and my car keys were easier to find.  This significantly lowered my negativity.

7. I leaned toward modesty. As a children’s librarian, I couldn’t minimize my wardrobe to crop tops and denim shorts.  I wanted my closet to be versatile, featuring items that made me look professional at work, but could also be worn leisurely and comfortably on my days off.  I realized that my clothes were more modest and did not expose lots of skin.  It made me feel beautiful! Everything I wore was safe for Church.

8. I wasn’t as impressed by high maintenance beauty and expensive fashion.  I started to notice simpler beauty and style, which enamored me.  Instead of false eyelashes and fancy dresses, I quickly became impressed by top-knot buns, simple makeup, and chambray shirts.  These women radiated beauty with their style and their under-accesorizing, which is how I believed God called them to be.

9. I cared more about quality over quantity. My clothes were a metaphor for other areas of my life, like friendships and relationships.  I would rather have a lasting garment that made me feel good and confident over something trendy that would only last one season.

I learned many things and I am continuing to grow with this adventure.  Other minimalists… how have you grown through your experiences?  SHARE!

Kindness Through an Addiction

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13

No one sees the scars on your heart.  This is the first time I am publicly opening up about my struggles for the past three years.  As the wife of a recovering addict, my faith has been tested many times and I vulnerably share part of my story in hopes of reaching the lost, downtrodden, hopeless, and heartbroken.

I thought I did everything right.  I graduated college with honors, paid my bills on time, bought my mother flowers on Mothers’ Day, and filed my taxes.  Then I fell in love with someone whose life experiences and struggles were beyond me.  Before Shane, I always envisioned love like the movies: struggles only existed when your mother-in-law felt threatened by your cooking skills, your boyfriend forgot an anniversary, and a handsome stranger asked for your phone number on a bachelorette weekend: QUITE THE QUANDARIES!  I never knew that I would question whether or not I had lost myself.  I never thought love meant accepting someone who danced and fought with something you HATED.  That “selflessness” did not mean giving someone the last bite of dessert or buying a really expensive Christmas present.  That feeling low in self-confidence had nothing to do with cellulite and a double chin.

I felt pain in ways I never imagined.  I watched my boyfriend stress and scrounge for money, pawning everything valuable within arm’s reach.  I watched his family distance themselves in pain and frustration, fed up with destructive behaviors.  I ignored the voices in my head, screaming at me to take the daily crying and overdrawn bank accounts as a sign that this lifestyle was toxic.

Worst of all, when he hit rock bottom, I felt happy for him, but still depressed.  I felt like I had to be his cheerleader but no one knew my struggle.  No one saw my pain.  There was no support group for enablers and loved ones.  There was no paradise or fantasy land on the mountain for me to start over.  I felt alone.  My outbursts confused me.  I felt bipolar and I did not know why.
And then I realized that I had never dealt with my pain.  My body and my smile moved on, but the part of my heart and mind that was hurt and broken was straggling behind.  I had to quickly jump into autopilot because I was expecting a son and I desperately wanted to move forward in a positive way.  But every time an argument or disagreement arose, I found myself resentful, fresh in memory and anger.  I hated myself for it.  I knew it would be a daily struggle, just like his.

But then I think of Philippians 4:13: I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.  I think about my son and his smile.  I think about all the friends who listened to me cry, hating him but loving me.  I think about all the blessings God has given me while I suffered.  I think about how he stabilized my career to keep me sane.  I think about my family who love me.  I think about his family, who held my hand.  I think about him, who constantly tries to redeem himself and be a better person.  And I count every second, every minute, every hour, and every day as a personal victory.  I pray for all those who are going through what I went through and continue to go through, and I hope they find peace in their lives, peace through my story.  I hope they find strength to move on, either AWAY from that loved one or WITH them, through the grace of God.